Many people consider that being in a relationship equals renouncing their freedom, personal viewpoints, and wishes. That’s because many people convey relationships as traps when, in fact, they should provide the perfect background for our personal development. Some stay away from intimate relationships since they anticipate they will lose themselves.
Being free in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can do whatever crosses your mind without caring about the other person. It means offering psychological space for expression, which would eliminate the fear of criticism. Feeling free enables you to share your emotions, expressing your thoughts with your partner.
Without a doubt, the sense of freedom in a relationship is paramount. So, when someone is too possessive in a relationship, this could create tension that could jeopardize it.
Domination and possessiveness lead to negative feelings such as fear, insecurity, anger, blame, depression and so on. These tendencies restrict the other person’s inner and outer freedom.
That being said, feeling free in your relationship shouldn’t be overlooked. And it isn’t impossible either. We can find the way of being free within our relationships. Expressing yourself doesn’t mean you should run away from your partner. Integrating freedom and a sense of independence in your relation is possible.
We find that the following advice is relevant, in this respect.
You shouldn’t feel the pressure to share literally everything
Sharing is a healthy practice, in any relationship; so don’t get me wrong. In truth, sharing is quintessential to get to know the other person, and feel more connected to him/her.
Nonetheless, this doesn’t mean you should feel the pressure to express everything about yourself. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should be lying. In fact, lying is a serious concern; and you should question your relationship, if you cannot be upfront and honest with your partner.
What I’m trying to say is that cataloging each of your partner’s moves could make him/her feel pressured. And it goes the other way around.
Don’t give up on your hobbies
Having a hobby is healthy for each and one of us. And you should pursue that hobby even though it means spending some time on your own. The main aspect that makes us feel our liberty is restricted is guilt – the guilt that you can no longer engage in the activities you did when you were single, so on and so forth.
Nonetheless, putting time aside for your hobbies is perfectly fine, if not, recommended.
In fact, studies highlight that having a hobby is linked to health and mental benefits such as diminished blood pressure, a significant sense of independence and satisfaction. In other words, you should both have hobbies that make you feel good about yourself.
Learn to accept and say no
Compromising is healthy in every relationship. However, learning to say no when the time asks for it is just as healthy. Refusing to do something shouldn’t be conveyed as a rejection – and it goes the other way around as well.
Don’t be afraid of spending time alone
Spending time alone is an utter necessity for many. And this need for solitude doesn’t vanish into thin air when one enters a committed relationship. That means one should find balance.
Assuming that once you are in a relationship you have to spend all your time with your partner isn’t quite healthy. In truth, spending some time away from one another could be a powerful practice for keeping your relationship fresh and strengthen your bond.
Don’t overlook your dreams
One’s aspirations and wishes define him/her. Being in a committed relationship shouldn’t mean that you give up on everything that is characteristic of you – dreams included. In essence, your objectives are an integral part of your personality.
If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner should support and encourage you to follow your dreams. Make sure you openly discuss with the other person, in the case in which you don’t feel supported. There are times when we unintentionally harm the persons we love; which is what makes communication the foundation of each relationship.
Perhaps you didn’t get the chance to share your fears and desires openly. So make sure you let your partner know of your dreams.
Acceptance facilitates freedom
Each person is prone to make mistakes. And more than occasionally we will experience feelings such as depression, anger, or a sense of inadequacy. You should come to accept this. Emotions are part of life, and we should learn how to cope with them productively, as opposed to allowing them to conquer us.
Acceptance also facilitates freedom. Considering that you’re no longer scared by the bonds of expectation and demand, you could live freely. We could say that acceptance is the best gift you could offer yourself and those surrounding you.
Being in an unhappy relationship could make you vulnerable to a wide range of things. Resentment is the one feeling that ruins relationships and marriages because it makes one feel hurt and blame the other for it.
The human spirit desires freedom and acceptance. You should come to accept your partner as he/she is. You choose to forgive him/her when he/she wrongs you, and forgive yourself as well.
Final thoughts
Freedom isn’t the absence of restrictions; assuming that freedom means saying no to any compromise and failing to consider your partner is a wrong starting point.
On the contrary, freedom refers to an unshakable conviction that aids you to face any obstacle. Your commitment to the other person shouldn’t be conveyed as petrifying or restrictive. Feeling duty-bound isn’t right either. Promoting freedom is about directing your energy towards creating liberty and acceptance.
We are often afraid to give freedom or to be free ourselves, because it cannot be controlled, being specifically unpredictable. Nonetheless, true love should make you experience freedom. Open communication is the way you can accomplish this.
Do you cherish being free in a relationship? What other practices do you find to be just as important as the one enumerated in this article?