Hundreds of thousands of years have elapsed in the history of humanity, but sex is still very much of a taboo. One can only wonder why. Unless we’ve been made in vitro, we owe our lives to sex. As long as there’s no risk of breaking one’s hip or getting muscle cramps in the middle of the process then crying in a fetal position while punching the calves, sex is usually pretty awesome.
However, when in a marriage, sex life can become boring. There’s no bigger turndown than having your spouse roll her eyes and asking you “Yeah, what else is new?” The truth is often harsh and this is it: not everybody’s got the “moves like Jagger”. All kidding aside, sex is vital in a relationship, be it a casual one or marriage.
Now, as Billy Connolly once said: “Women need to feel loved to have sex and men need to have sex to feel loved”. Either way, love is involved in the equation. The harder those butterflies are kicking against your stomach, the more sex is warranted.
What most couples whose sex life leaves a great deal to be desired don’t know is that they needn’t spend hundreds of dollars on counselling. It’s up to them if they spice it up or not, not to some counselor that asks you some very uncomfortable questions. Let’s assume you’re in a relationship and you’re feeling like the sex isn’t as pleasant anymore as it used to be.
Now’s the perfect time to learn how to spice up your sex life. And no, there’s no contortionism involved. In the remainder of this article, you’re going to find no less than 17 sex tips for bored couples. If none works, you better start going to church.
Tips to avoid sexual boredom
Boredom is more often than not the result of repetition/routine. If you’ve never changed your job for years on end, you definitely know what we’re talking about. The very same thing applies to sex. If you never do anything new, chances are passion will gradually decrease until it hits a perfect halt. The worst thing is that “the spark” dies with it. Now let’s get to the actual advices on how to spice up your relationship sex-wise.
- Explore new spaces
The bedroom’s not the only room you can have sex in. In fact, it should be on the last place on your list. It might so happen that the bedroom is ruining the mood. Start doing it anywhere but in there. The shower and the kitchen are good for a start. New spaces will automatically lead to new positions, and that’s certainly something that diminishes the possibility of getting bored.
- Do it where there’s a risk of someone walking in on you
Never underestimate the power of the old adrenaline rush. Few things can beat going at it somewhere where you shouldn’t, the bathroom of a restaurant, for instance or at work. You’ll have the time of your life, guaranteed. That fear of being walked in on is paradoxically one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. Sexy things are bound to happen.
If you try it, you might actually get addicted to it, which is not a bad thing as you’re not kicked out of a public space with your clothes in your hands.
- Make a new position each week a rule
Whoever invented the missionary is now turning in his grave. It’s the most tedious sex position of all times and guess what – the inquisition is over. Before you go to a couples counselor and pay him/her to teach you absolutely nothing about how to spice up your marriage, make sure your issues aren’t caused by not reading the Kamasutra. There’s 245 positions in there. If you’ve got a rich imagination, you can double that number easily.
Establish this rule: we’re going to have sex, but only if we use a new position each time we do it. It’s going to be extremely entertaining, that’s for sure. And one more thing: there are some people that purchase books on sexual positions. That’s bollocks. You don’t need to stop halfway through the job and take a look at the picture to see if you’re doing right. Start experimenting.
Teasing isn’t something that you can only do at home. If you’re going somewhere, wear provocative clothes. You won’t believe how enticed men are when they want something they cannot have right away. There’s a downside, too: you could get as horny as him. That can culminate with an unpredicted quickie in the back of the car on some ill-lit alley. Not much of a downside now… Being too hot to trot when you’re in a public space can work wonders.
- Sex instead of lunch
Having sex while eating lunch can have disastrous consequences especially when the plates aren’t glued to the table. Even if it’s a quick session, it will make you both burn with anticipation. It’s all the more arousing when you’re doing it at work, during the lunch break.
- Leave notes for each other
When you pack his lunch, slip a sex note in the bag. Work is going to be the last thing on his mind after he reads it. The first thing will be to get off early, so that he can go home and tear the clothes off of you. He can do the same thing. It’s very childish, if you think about it, but it works in 90% of the cases.
- Start doing oral
It’s true that many women would never agree on performing oral. Men are not that bashful. If you’ve never done it before, you should start if there are signs that your sex life is waning. It opens the gates to an entire world of possibilities. Many of these possibilities can be “done” while driving through the countryside or at night. Just saying.
- Play with toys
Not with G.I. Joe and Barbie, obviously. Suitable sex toys can add some much-needed heat to the sex life of bored couples. Look for any other ways to spice up your sex life, and there will always be someone who advocates the use of sex toys, especially if you’ve never did that before. You’ll be pretty shy until one of you breaks the ice.
Also, shopping together for sex toys can be enough of a turn-on. You may not even get to the sex shop.
- Morning sex
Morning sex is undoubtedly hellfire-hot. When passions seems to vanish from your relationship, morning sex can be an efficient tool. The greatest thing about it is that you can wake each other up by… you know… doing it. How to spice up your marriage from the break of dawn? Here’s how.
- Dress-up games
Most people are not that eager to speak openly about their fantasies, not even when married. You’ve got no reason to be shy, however. You’re not the first nor the last to flesh out your partner’s deepest fantasy. This should’ve been in a better position – no pun intended – in our sex tips for bored couples compendium. Cosplay once in a while and you’ll be amazed of the results.
- The naked surprise
You cannot go wrong with undressing yourself and calling your partner upstairs just to find you spread in all your naked magnificence on the bed. It works every time and it’s so rewarding that it might become one of those sex tools that’s never going to miss from your arsenal. Before you start googling other ways to spice up your sex life, try this one out. There’s a strong chance that he might put the clothes back on you so that he can tear them with his teeth.
- Oil it up
You can buy essential oils in pretty much any shopping center. Not only they smell heavenly, but they’re potent aphrodisiacs. A beautiful smell is linked to a quicker arousal. Pair essential oils with candles all over the bedroom, and you get the most romantic setting there is. What’s more, you can, of course, massage each other with essential oils so that you both get in the mood. Just don’t relax so much that you fall asleep.
- Watch X-rated movies together
Men and women alike enjoy their fair share of porn. They may not recognize it, but you can be sure that they do it. Why not do it together? Watching some kinky movies can be a valuable source of inspiration. You’re watching them when one of you is at work, anyway, and don’t even try to defend yourself, because you’d just be lying. You don’t need to do it if it makes you too uncomfortable, though.
- Dirty talking
Again, something that some may be eager to do and some other ones won’t. But you’re here to learn how to spice up your marriage, not Business English so behave yourself. Dirty talking can be very effective in heating each other up. Be careful, dirty talking is not badmouthing. As in, don’t swear each other. Talk about the things you’d like to do to each other in minute detail!
- Reap the advantages of lace
Yoga pants? Totally not arousing. Pantyhose? Getting warmer. Fishnet? Why not? But lace – we were looking for lace. Lace lingerie makes your man kneel at your feet. Sex is a visual thing as much as it is a physical thing. You can learn how to spice up your relationship just by learning what you should wear in the bedroom (bathroom or back of the car). Lace things up a little and you’ll definitely get more pleasure than you had hoped for.
- Send nudes
“Send nudes” is so overused that it almost lost all its meaning. Or has it? What can be more erotic than checking out your inbox and seeing your wife in a photo that she would need to take the 5th amendment on? Or vice-versa? That works even better when you’re at work (as long as nobody messes around with your phone). You won’t be able to think about anything else but sex until you get home.
- Spend a naked weekend at a hotel
When you have children, it’s less likely you can have a naked weekend. Or a naked hour for that matter. Leave the children with your parents and allow yourself to blow – no pun intended – some steam. If being naked 48 hours doesn’t get you worked up, then few things can do it. What’s more, you could spend those 48 hours by implementing all these tips to avoid sexual boredom and mastering them all!
Hopefully, you’ve learned enough on how to spice up your sex life from this guide. Fundamentally, a boring sex life is a direct consequence of a boring lifestyle overall. Routine is the #1 killer of romance. Nothing good can ever come out of it. You can improve your sex life in other ways, not necessarily sexual.
For instance, try traveling more, as much as your work allows. A vacation will renew your connection with your partner. Talking about the lack of heat in your sex life, too, can be helpful. Try to assess what’s wrong and establish what needs to be done to get it back on track. These sex tips for bored couples will surely be a part of your discussion at one point or another.
There are myriad ways to spice up your sex life. It’s up to you if you implement them or not. The most important things in a relationship are trust and open discussions, those are the true saviors when it comes to unpleasant sex-life. Learn how to talk about things rather than avoid them.
All things considered, before you decide that the spark has died, make sure you’ve done everything to keep it alive in the first place. If not, you’ll need to learn more than just how to spice up your sex life.