Maintaining a healthy relationship proves to be difficult sometimes, especially if you have been together for a long time. There are several reasons why relationships seem not to work anymore. Unfortunately, people don’t realize that they do something wrong that could ruin their relationship. Or they don’t want to admit. Even though people change, their relationship should grow stronger, not fall apart. In a relationship, the partners should love, respect and support each other no matter what. People forget that relationships are really simple and they like to complicate things. If you want to keep your relationship healthy, you shouldn’t do the following things:
This is one of the most important principles for a successful relationship and cheating can be the worst mistake that someone can do. When you are in a relationship, you are committed to that person and even though things aren’t exactly how they used to be, you have no right to cheat on your partner. A relationship is based on trust and you will destroy it once you choose to go behind your partner’s back. Maybe it’s tempting to have an affair, maybe your relationship is going to a rough patch or maybe you’re just bored, you need to remember that your relationship is more important than an affair. Besides, if you feel unhappy, you can always leave.
This principle is similar to the first, but it’s important that you become aware of the fact that lies could ruin relationships. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small one, you should be able to tell your partner everything. If you think that hiding something from your partner that may hurt him/ her is a wise decision, well it’s not. Actually, it’s worse. It means that you two aren’t on the same page. If you can’t trust your partner with everything, maybe it’s not the right person. Don’t forget that communication is the key for a successful and strong relationship.
Don’t judge or criticize
Criticism is ok if it’s constructive, if you criticize someone just because you can, then it’s a problem. A strong relationship means that you are capable to accept the flaws of your loved one. Don’t criticize the way in which your partner looks and don’t try to change him/her. Probably you want to be with someone who is real and authentic and real people have imperfections.
Also, don’t mock your partner’s aspirations and goals. It’s important that you sustain him/her in any decision they make. If they fail, you need to be there for them, comforting and offering them support. Your partner needs to know that if something bad happens you will be there and that you will show constant support and love.
Stop doing the little things
Now that you’re with the person of your dreams, you still need to do nice things every now and then. You have a foundation, but you need to consolidate upon it. Relationships grow stronger when you put in effort. It’s important to realize it before it’s too late. Don’t stop buying flowers, chocolates, bottles of wine, perfumes or any other small gift. It’s essential that you make your partner feel special every day, not only on your anniversary, on his/her birthday, Valentine’s Day or Christmas. Don’t think that once you’ve got the loved one on your side, it’s enough. It’s not. You have to work constantly on your relationship.
Don’t spend too much time together
It’s perfectly normal to want to spend most of the time together, particularly if you are at the beginning of the relationship, but you have to give each other space. If you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have freedom anymore. Besides, it’s necessary to spend some time on your own. You don’t have to be together 24/7.
On the other hand, maybe your partner doesn’t like doing the same things as you. Let’s say that you like going fishing but your partner doesn’t appreciate this activity. It doesn’t represent a problem if you choose to go fishing with someone who likes it. Also, it’s not a tragedy if you have some different interests.
Don’t neglect your friends
We all have a friend that we haven’t seen for ages because he/she is having a new relationship. And it’s annoying. Don’t be that friend. You need to appreciate and be thankful for the others around you. Your friends have been supporting you for a long time and it’s not that nice to forget about them once you’ve found someone. Although it’s really important that your partner meets your friends, make sure you go out with them without him/her. Maybe your friends want to hang out just with you. In this way, you will show respect and trust to your significant other.
Don’t stop listening to your partner
Or anyone, in general. For an efficient communication you need to listen to your partner, even if they repeat the same things or the things they say don’t interest you. Besides, it’s rude when someone is talking and you’re playing on the phone or you’re watching TV. It’s important to practice active listening in your relationship. Active listening means that you listen to your partner in order to understand his/her feelings and thoughts and you don’t wait for your turn to talk.
Don’t hide your feelings or who you are
You don’t have to pretend to be someone else in order to be in a relationship. The right person will love for who you are. And after all, we all want someone that sees who we really are and chooses to stay. You won’t gain anything if you don’t reveal who you are.
Also, it’s important to show and talk about your feelings. Don’t be afraid to get hurt. If you feel something don’t keep it to yourself. Besides the fact that is unhealthy not expressing your feelings, your partner wants to know what’s going on with you. Moreover, if your partner said or did something that bothered you, you need to communicate this to them. The more you will hold back your feelings, the worst it will get.
Don’t be jealous
There are many people who say that if you aren’t jealous, you don’t love your partner. A little jealousy won’t do any harm and sometimes it’s cute and funny. But if you’re overreacting, things take a new turn. No one likes a jealous partner that doesn’t let you do anything. Besides, it’s not pleasant when you accuse your loved one of cheating without having any reasons. And it’s not romantic at all to be too jealous in front of your partner’s friends.
Don’t hold grudges
You can get upset at your partner, but you don’t have to hold a grudge. Besides, how can you be in a relationship in which you have hard feelings towards the person you should love? Also, if your partner did something that hurt you, it doesn’t mean that you have to hurt him/her back. A relationship is not a contest or a game. Sometimes you fight and say things that you didn’t intend or you don’t believe in them, you have to apologize to your partner. Besides, it’s important that you are opened to discussions and to finding solutions together, not separately for your problems.
Don’t compare your partner with someone else
When you compare a person to someone else, you make that person feel like she/he isn’t good enough, that something is wrong with her/ him, that she/he needs to change and you make them feel bad about their selves, even though in reality they are the best persons. So, don’t compare your partner, especially with your former sweethearts. You may give them the impression that you’re still thinking and caring about your ex. Moreover, your partner may think that you want to change him/her in order to become more like someone you used to date. Imagine this:
- You and your girlfriend prepare to go out and she is dressed, let’s say, casually. Suddenly, you tell her that you ex-girlfriend dressed elegantly and fashionably. She will instantly feel like something is wrong with her outfit and maybe she will be in a bad mood all day.
- You call your boyfriend and he tells you that he is watching a movie and you tell him that your ex-boyfriend used to go to the gym in his spare time. Certainly, your boyfriend will feel a little insecure.
Every person is unique and you should respect and accept them for what they are.
Don’t take the relationship for granted
Learn to appreciate what you have in your actual relationship. Don’t disrespect and treat miserably your partner because you think she/he will be there forever. They will leave, no matter how much they love you. People get tired when they’re not treating right and yes, they prefer to be single rather than being in the wrong relationship. Even though you’ve made some mistakes and your beloved one has forgiven you each time, don’t assume that she/he will always forgive you. People let go, although it’s the hardest thing to do.
Don’t control your partner
A relationship doesn’t mean the end of freedom and nights out. You should respect your partner’s needs and wishes. If she/he wants to go to a karaoke night with the girls or to a football match with the guys don’t forbid it. Besides, don’t tell your partner how to act or what to say, you’re not his/her mother and he/she is not your child. Allow them the liberty to express themselves.
Besides, don’t be that kind of girlfriend or boyfriend that asks their partner for the Facebook, e-mail, Instagram password. It’s not ok to invade you’re their privacy. They are allowed to have a personal life. Also, don’t read their text messages and look through the calls while they’re taking a shower. You have to trust your partner and any sign of doubt will slowly ruin the relationship.
14. Don’t give up on your dreams
You would probably do anything for your loved one, but you don’t have to sacrifice your dreams. There needs to be mutual support between you. A healthy relationship will bring out the best of you while a bad relationship will make you renounce at your goals. You should be able to build an empire together. It’s important that both partners achieve what they’ve proposed ,so none of them will feel worthless. And remember you don’t have to stay in a relationship with a selfish person that will make you give up on your dreams.
Don’t forget about yourself
It’s important that you have some time just for yourself. Besides, it happens in numerous relationships that one partner forgets about its identity and what she/he likes and develops the same interests as their loved one. It’s amazing when two people have things in common, but you should have your own hobbies. Besides, you may break up with that person and you will feel lost.
16. Don’t bring up the past
It’s not a good idea to use an event that happened in the past in your favor when you’re fighting. If your partner did something thoughtless a long time ago, you don’t bring it up in the present situation. Probably you have discussed about that thing when it had happened and there is no point in talking about it in the present moment. Not only, it will bring back ugly memories, but both of you will feel bad after the fight is over. You probably have forgiven your partner for whatever she/he did, so it’s not fair to use it now against them.
Don’t fight in public or on social media
Imagine that you’re having a good time in a bar with your friends. All of a sudden, the couple from your group starts fighting (and yelling in worst cases) and you can’t do much about it. You just watch how they are fighting and it gets awkward and uncomfortable. Don’t be that couple. It’s not nice to ruin things for everybody. If your partner did something that disturbed you, wait until you get home or go to a private place to talk. Also, posting on your social media about your relationship problems isn’t a great solution. You won’t solve them if you receive advice from people on the internet.
18. Don’t let the quotidian problems affect your relationship
Even though you’re stressed on tensioned, don’t release your anger on your partner. Besides, don’t let the money intervene in your relationship. Many couple fight about their finances and sometimes they forget that love is not about money. Although you’re going through a difficult financial situation, don’t turn your back on each other. Things will get better and you have to support each other. Going through difficulties like this will make your relationship last longer because you will see if your partner cares about superficial stuff like money. If you can make it out of a difficult moment, then your relationship is on the right track.
19. Don’t insult your partner
You probably consider that you would never do that, but people when are angry don’t think rationally. So, if you have a heated argument, don’t insult or don’t call your partner names. They may pretend that they didn’t hear you or that the insults don’t mean anything, but deep down they are hurt. Moreover, if you love your partner, don’t say or do things that you know will hurt her/him. So, next time you’re having a fight, try to calm down before you speak.
Don’t avoid the family
Family has an important role in anyone’s life. Even though you don’t get along with some of your relatives, you had to learn how to tolerate them. Avoiding your family or your partner’s is not a good idea. Even though you can’t stand your significant other’s family, you need to visit them from time to time, at least on holidays. This means that you’re willing to make a small compromise for your partner’s happiness.
Don’t stay too long in a relationship
If you have tried anything to make your relationship work and you haven’t had any positive results, maybe it’s time to walk away. I know it can be hard, but you can’t stay in a relationship where you don’t feel good or confident anymore. Don’t think that you’ve spent years with a person and it will be a waste of time to let it go. It’s not a waste of time, it’s an experience and a memory. Also, don’t be afraid to be single again. You will find someone else. Stay in a relationship as long as you’re happy and respected.
These are some basic principles for a healthy relationship. But it would be better if you and your partner set your own principles or rules. Don’t forget that communication, trust and support can build a solid relationship.