A break-up might be one of the hardest moments to go through. They hit you unexpectedly, when you thought that everything was going alright. You are left hopeless, heartbroken, and think that you will never find anyone again.
Whether it happened to you in the past or you are experiencing the pain right now, you know it’s not something easy to get over. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship, you can’t erase years in a day and can’t heal in such a short time. It takes time to properly be happy again.
However, whereas you feel like the world is crushing down on you, it is not something that will forever haunt you. You feel down now, and it’s okay, because you’re human. Still, you will realize that maybe this break-up was a blessing. You never know what could happen in the future that wouldn’t have been possible with your ex.
Therefore, don’t give up on everything. There is still hope for you, and maybe a chance to an even happier life. The following article explains whether break-ups are the end of the world or blessings, and tell you how to cope with a break up.
Why do break-ups happen?
Break-ups can happen for countless of reasons. It all depends on how the relationship between you was and what led to it. Some of the reasons can be:
- One of you has cheated
- You were too busy to spend time with each other, and it became boring
- One of you is an alcoholic, and cause problems in the relationship
- The relationship got boring, as you two barely have anything to talk about anymore
- One of you doesn’t feel like the love is still there
- Your life goals don’t match
- One of you is controlling and possessive, and this damaged the relationship
These are only some of the reasons a break-up could occur. There are many others, and it depends on the relationship and the people in it.
Why do they hurt so much?
A break-up hurts so much because you have spent time getting attached to this person, and now you have to let them go. You have to let a part of yourself go, because it’s not working out. And what’s more annoying is the fact that you have no idea what to do after a break-up.
Moreover, break-ups make you ask yourself a lot of questions. They are all partying in your head and playing with your anxiety. Some of these questions might be:
- Was I not good enough?
- What if they go and find someone better than me?
- Why even be in a relationship anymore if this is going to happen?
- Did they even love me?
- Did they find someone else?
- Are they going to miss me?
- Were they lying to me?
- Was it a mistake to get involved with this person?
- Will they come back to me?
This is the kind of situation that keeps you up at night. You think about the other person, if there was another chance for reconciliation, and many other things.
It hurts a lot, and you feel like nothing will ever be the same. You are partially right, it will never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it will be bad. It could get better.
Why could a break-up be a blessing?
Although you feel like it’s the end of the world, you will see that it’s actually the beginning of something better. You might not think the same now, if you are still covered in used tissues, but you’ll be able to see this after a while.
When a door closes, another opens. You might even find out that the relationship was actually not good for you, and the break-up was a good idea. There are things you can discover only after getting dumped, and start being happy that this person left. You never know what the future holds, so don’t think that your life is ruined.
After you learn how to get over a break-up, there are some things that will make you realize that it was for the better. Here is why your break-up might actually be a blessing:
You have less obligations
Maybe your ex had a family member you didn’t like, or a friend you found annoying. You were forced to play nice for your partner’s sake, but now there’s no need for that anymore. Think about how you are free from putting on a mask when you are in the company of certain people. Don’t you feel a slight relief?
You have more time to focus on yourself
When you were in a relationship, most of your love was directed to your partner. Whereas you were maybe taking care of yourself, you couldn’t focus as much, and were rather neglecting yourself. Self-love is very important, and you have to have it before loving someone else. A break-up might be a way to teach you how to love and value yourself before others.
You have time to work on your life, hobbies, and even try new things and discover something new. You can even start hanging out with your friends more often, and have fun.
You can go on dates
Now that you’re “single and ready to mingle”, you can go on dates and try meeting someone new. You have the chance to meet someone that might be even better than your ex, so why not give it a shot?
You could even realize that your ex wasn’t the best one out there, and there are other people willing to make you happy. If this is not your first break-up, then you know about this feeling and the fact that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
You become stronger
You’ve probably heard this so many times that you are tired of it. However, it is actually true. This break-up can strengthen your heart and you become more immune to certain events that affect you.
You learn a lot about yourself
Break-ups can open your eyes and make you see things about yourself that you didn’t before. Moreover, they can teach you what not to do in the next relationships, because you have probably seen your faults. These may be things you will be thankful about, and find out your ex did a good thing.
How to get over a break-up?
If you are still dealing with the pain of a heartbreak and wondering what to do next, here are some tips to move forward after a break-up.
- Cut off contact
While you are tempted to message your ex and plead, it is not a good idea. You should definitely not contact them again, at least for a good time. It may be hard not to talk to them daily, but you will get used to it. You will stop wondering about what they are doing, or waiting for that good morning text. Cutting contact will help you heal and focus on yourself.
Keeping your feelings inside is like a ticking bomb. If you think that being quiet about it is going to make it all go away, you are wrong. You have friends and family you could talk to, and you won’t regret talking to them. All of your emotions could be let out, and you will feel much better.
By keeping your feelings inside, you will only do more harm. At one point, they will be too much to handle and you will explode.
- Give yourself time to grieve
Yes, it hurts really badly, but it’s essential to live through each of the feelings. If you don’t want a breakdown while at work or at a family meeting, make sure you have time alone to think about it and cry. You will let out a lot of feelings, and end up feeling better.
- Don’t post on social media
It’s normal to be tempted to share that “I’m better without you” picture or “How could you do this to me” song. Not only you’re embarrassing yourself for later, but your ex might love the attention. Do not post anything hinting to the break-up. Let people think you’re over it and you’re happy, and it will turn into reality.
- Write things down
When you’re home alone and you feel the rage or sadness build up, take a notebook and write every feeling down. It is going to make you feel better, as it’s a way of letting your feelings out.
Make a sure you don’t end up sending them to your ex along with a bomb, though.
- Don’t think about getting him back
Clinging to false hopes and dreams is only going to hurt you more. Besides, if you don’t succeed, you’ll feel only more hurt in the end. Don’t try to get your ex back – they will come back themselves if they really want to.
Instead, work on getting yourself back, and live happily again.
Break-ups may break your heart into millions of pieces. However, they are not the end of the world. They give you new opportunities. Therefore, go out there and work on yourself, because you are special and strong.