People can often find themselves being unhappy with their relationship – thing is they don’t really identify why is their relationship bad or even the fact that it’s not their fault. If you’ve identified yourself with these words, you might have been or still are in a toxic relationship.
Truth is nobody can actually identify what a true toxic relationship actually is, because everybody is special, as every relationship is special with their ups and downs. Imagine that a thing that you find acceptable in your relationship can be someone else’s reason to break up.
With that being said, there are still certain red flags and signs for you to tell that you actually are in a toxic relationship and try as much as possible to do some changes.
Only you give (Everything)
When you are in a relationship and you love your partner, you have this constant need and pleasure to give them everything: your time, presents, kind words – and that’s wonderful, that’s how a relationship should actually look like, but the feeling has to be mutual. You need to receive what you give in order to have this feeling of “equity”.
Moreover, if you give all your time and you put all your energy into your relationship, at some point you will start feeling empty, because the withdrawal was made but no intake was received.
In a healthy relationship both partners realize each other’s effort put into keeping the flame burning and sacrifices that have been made and should reward the significant other with kind words, understanding, and comfort.
You Don’t Trust Your Significant Other
This is a big red flag that you should pay attention to. Let’s take, for instance, a minor hypothetical discussion that you and your partner have, in which he mentions that he will go out with his co-workers. You want to believe him and you’re not even a jealous person but something makes you not to. This can go on and on with many examples, not trusting him or she with anything that they say.
If anything like this occurs, look into the problem. What happened that made you distrust them? Can it be solved? Do you feel safe telling those things? Talk to them about them and see how they react, if they instantly get angry, this might be just another red flag…
Your Relationship is Tense
If every time you discuss something, it turns into an ugly argument, if you don’t even want to bring up any subject, because you know you might fight – it means your relationship is hostile.
Do you tell your significant other what you really want to do in the weekends? Or you do as he or she wants because you want to avoid any sort of discussion? This is just one example that can come up frequently. Moreover, if you don’t like how they talk to you, if their tone of voice is always angry and it sounds like they are so close to getting angry and start yelling, then there are some issues in your relationship and nobody should live in such an environment.
You should both try to discuss your plans and understand if your partner wants to just be lazy because he or she is tired or try to find the common ground to keep everyone happy.
Lack of Communication
You both go to your jobs and you might even have different schedules and you don’t really get to see each other that much, only in the morning and at night. Well, you need to have conversations during the day or at least talk in the morning or at night about your day and how should it go.
If you do not communicate and don’t know how your partner’s day was, who he ran into or any sort of updates that he has, you lose touch and it feels just like it would be one of your friends and not your actual significant other. This can turn your relationship into a toxic one immediately that most possibly will make you or both of you feel sad and later on indifferent about one another.
This aspect is crucial in a relationship because communication is the key. Whether it is something that upsets you about your partner, or anything that you have to say, or even something that ruined your day and you need to share it with someone, just go ahead and do it.
All the little things that you kept for yourself because you fear that it might upset your significant other, will come back in uglier ways and will always start an ugly fight. Go ahead and always speak the truth no matter how hard it is because any mistake can be forgiven, and anything can be straightened out, if you’re meant for each other and if you love one another.
You Play the Blame Game
Of course it’s not their fault, it’s yours – and vice versa. If something happens and each and every time was your fault, they did nothing wrong and they never do, it means that you are in a toxic relationship.
If two people are together, they shouldn’t take each other for granted and especially put the blame on the other person for everything. “I failed, it’s your fault!” “Our relationship isn’t working out because you don’t want to.” If this ever happens, try and discuss the problems after you both calmed down and listen to your partner and what he or she has to say about the situation.
You Feel a Negative Energy
Do you feel really uncomfortable when your partner comes home or sits next to you? Well, this is not a good sign. For example, if you and he or she are out with your friends, and he leaves for a while and you start having much more fun that you had before, when he was present, this means that you can’t stand having he or she around you and you feel this negative energy that doesn’t let you be yourself.
If you feel like avoiding contact with him or her as much as possible it means that either you would like to spend some time by yourself for a while and figure things out or that your relationship is not the “fairytale” you wished for.
You Can’t Follow Your Passions
It is well known that everything, in order for it to be successful, has to evolve. This applies to a relationship as well. If you are not allowed to grow and follow your passions, then the relationship isn’t going to evolve as it should.
If your partner doesn’t support you and your decisions, every time you want to do more and better, it means that the relationship isn’t going to take you anywhere.
At a given point, you or she or he will want much more from their life and that’s one crucial point where support has to exist. As long as both sides are on the same page with the “growing aspect” it’s an amazing thing, but if one of them is and the other isn’t, then some conflicts might show up.
Helping your partner and providing all your support especially when it comes to passions and goals, it gives the relationship that stability that it needs; it lays the foundation of trust that is so necessary to keep the flame alive.
You’re Not Happy
This one is a major thing… if neither you or he or she isn’t happy anymore, it means that something is really wrong. Why? Due to the fact that happiness comes from within, there’s, it means that nothing is making you feel alive anymore.
Even though life and a relationship comes with its ups and downs, being unrealistic to think about the fact that you should be happy at all times – your significant other should make you happy. By happy, I mean that he or she could go out of their way to make sure you’re fine, you’re doing the things you love and they are always by your side to support you.
It’s hard to really tell how “toxic” a relationship really is, based on an article, because everybody is special and their relationship is unique.
With that being said, there are some red flags that shouldn’t be missed by anyone in a relationship, as they apply in general to everybody. If you partner doesn’t communicate at all or is constantly angry and you fight a lot, it means the relationship is going on a toxic path. Moreover, if you don’t feel like spending time with him or her, if you would rather go out by yourself or with your friends, it means that there isn’t any desire of being by his or her side which results in the end on the relationship.
Pay really close attention to the signals you’re getting because a toxic relationship can do so much damage in your life and in your way of seeing relationships. If you feel that something is not working accordingly or as it used to, try discussing the matter and see if there are any ways you can actually solve it. If not, look at your options and if the best one is to terminate the relationship, then this would be the right thing to do