I Fell in Love With My F&%K Buddy. What Should I Do?

Can you be in a relationship with your friend with benefits

You didn’t see that coming, did you? But come on, can you swear that you believed in that “We’re just friends”, which is, by the way, one of the biggest lies humanity has invented, apart from “I’ll quit tomorrow”? Let’s be realistic here, shall we?

Can your fuck buddy become your partner? (Only if the sex is good) The answer is definitely “Yes”. This is the outcome in 80% of the cases. Why? Because you’re always there for each other. You may not realize it because well, you’re busy doing something else, but that’s the truth.

People are absolutely terrified of this happening to them. It’s not hard to understand why. This occurrence can easily break friendships, but only in a certain circumstance you’ll have to discover within this article by reading through the lines.

I love my friend with benefits”. Who doesn’t… But what should you do in this case? First, don’t panic. Second, you’ll learn everything you need to know in here. It may not appear as such, but this may very well be the love of your life masquerading as a divine irony.

What to do when you fall in love with your fuck buddy 

  1. Make sure what you’re feeling is genuine love 

Attachment and love are two distinct notions. The former involves feeling really close to someone and that’s it. Enjoying each other’s company. The latter, however, is the serious thing you might want to have checked at a doctor’s.

The best way to make this happen is to give it some thought. Maybe it’s just a passing fad, a “crush” as it is called in the academia. And don’t take it for granted. You wouldn’t want to break your partner’s heart because you didn’t take the time to review your feelings closely.

  1. Look for signs that your buddy feels the same way 

Few things on this planet can be more painful than loving someone who doesn’t return that love. Is it only you that has fallen so deeply, or does your partner makes it clear that she/he is interested in more than on-demand sex as well?

The answer to this question will determine whether you can open up about your feelings or not without being hurt. Do both of you feel this urge to cuddle for hours after going at it like there’s no tomorrow? You might very well be more than friends with benefits… And a grand appetite for the benefits, for that matter.

  1. Don’t beat yourself up about it 

If you do fall in love with the one you were only supposed to have sex with, don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing wrong in falling in love, even in circumstances that were built for the opposite reasons: not falling in love, obviously.

It’s only natural. Maybe more than 50% of the entire population on Earth will eventually want more than casual sex at some point. You just happen to be one and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Moreover, if you fell in love, it means that you saw something in your partner that would make her/him worthy of more than – let’s face it – sex that would knock one’s socks off. Which it probably does, because if it were not, you wouldn’t have been friends with benefits in the first place.

Cut yourself some slack, it’s not the end of the world and you’re not in the least a dysfunctional person. Quite from the contrary.

  1. Speak up your mind 

Open up about your feelings. It may be the recommended thing to do even if your partner does not feel the same way as you do. It’s certainly better than repressing those emotions which have enough power to ruin your life in the long run.

There’s a chance that he/she’ll run right through the window as quickly as you say “I love you” and your tone is not the one somebody uses when joking.

The only rule the two of you signed for was “There are no strings attached”. That’s why you cannot really force your fuck buddy to love you back. But then again, it’s better to open up and discuss. Sometimes, it’s precisely this discussion that kindles love on both sides.

  1. Stop seeing each other & having sex 

By the love of God, not if you find out that your partner has been madly in love with you all this time, but has been too afraid to say it. But if he/she does not, then it’s better to stop interacting with each other. It will give you some perspective and it will decrease the risk of getting more hurt.

Doing this can also prove to be beneficial, not solely destructive. Your partner may realize how much she/he’s missing you and that indeed, she/he feels the very same way. If the whole thing backfires, at least you’ll have some piece of mind.

Not all friends in benefits in the world fall in love. It doesn’t happen quite often, but it does happen nonetheless. It can be excruciating pain to do the right thing. Momentarily. Time heals all, as the saying goes.

All in all, this is what to do when you fall in love with your fuck buddy. 

How to turn your fuck buddy into your partner 

Oh boy, this is the equivalent of running naked on a mined field. You can screw it up any minute, but the adrenaline rush makes you run and flail your arms about as if you were stricken with palsy anyway. And hey, you’re naked.

Can your fuck buddy become your partner?

Yes. Can you force your buddy to become your partner? Nope, never. Tying somebody to a pipe in the basement and screaming “Love me back!” from the top of your lungs will only get you a few months in an asylum.

Being able to say “I love my friend with benefits” does not really give you the power to force anything on your friend, let alone love. But just for the sake of it, here’s what you can try if that’s your objective.

  • Make him/her desire you 

And not in the sexual way, although you can always learn some mind-blowing new moves that can make your partner marry you while in the exercise of metaphoric procreation. Basically show him that there’s more to you than bountiful sex.

  • Put some distance between you temporarily 

Again, this may be something that triggers love in both of you love bunnies. And if it does not, it will pave the way for the big testimonial. You don’t need to do extreme things to get your partner’s attention. Just let distance speak for itself for a while. And let your partner know that it doesn’t have anything to do with the performance. Dear God.

  • Start seeing other people. And make it obvious 

If your partner seems to be really uncomfortable with you dating other people, then obviously there’s more than the sex that is held in high regards by both of you. A serious conversation on what is truly going on will be inevitable, and you’ll be able to tell what your stance is in the relationship.

  • Simply put it out there 

The testimony of love, evidently. This sick mindset won’t get you far, you know? Sometimes simply saying everything that’s bothering you in just one breath can do the trick.

However, this is a double-edged sword: on one hand, you might get your partner to open up about feeling mutual feelings; on the other hand, it might scare your buddy away. Be careful how you say it. Don’t make it sound like it’s a death sentence.

Outline all the reasons why you think that you’re too good together not to go to the next level. Have an open conversation. You’re both adults and you both know what you want from life. It shouldn’t be that hard to make your point.


Friends with benefits falling for each other is one of the most beautiful things one can witness. It certainly is scary – but here’s the inside scoop: all things are. That’s what makes you so happy that you’ve manage to pull something off that you never thought you could.

The vital piece of information you must leave this article with is not to panic. To stop thinking that there’s something wrong with you and you’re endangering your friendship. There’s no need to throw mud at love. Haddaway did it already.

Not speaking about your feelings is hurtful. Even though love was the single thing that wasn’t supposed to happen, it did, and that’s it. Once it did, you only have two options: break up the relationship with your partner or move things further by getting together properly.

Hopefully, it will be the latter. You don’t need to learn how to turn your fuck buddy into your partner. It either happens on its own or it does not. Be prepared to deal with it in both cases.

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