A break-up of a long relationship that started out strong can mess your life up, for a certain period, of course. The thing is that most people can’t get past a break-up. They either will try to get back with their ex or be miserable for a good period.
Depression and anxiety can set it, and you’ll prefer to stay in your bed all day long for a couple of weeks. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Our article will give you some tips to motivate yourself and start dating again. Let us begin:
It may be a good thing
First of all, a break-up can be a good thing. If the relationship was going downhill, or if it was stagnating, maybe you two weren’t made for a long relationship. It’s ok though; you can always start from scratch. If you think a break-up is terrible, try staying in a bad relationship for a couple of months, or even years.
It’s good to call it quits and still respect each other. There is no need to exaggerate on something that wasn’t going to last too long, so you are better of being a friend after a relationship than being enemies. Besides, the idea of being friends after a relationship doesn’t exist, if you know what I mean, so it’s a win-win situation.
Now you can start a fresh new relationship, and you will also be wiser.
It’s your fault
Look, we all do stupid things when we are in a relationship, and those stupid things can pile up and can result in a break-up. Even so, try not to blame yourself. Sure, a break-up may happen because of either one of you, but because you weren’t a team and you didn’t support each other, that’s why you broke up.
So instead of being harsh on yourself, try to look on the bright side and move forward. A new experience awaits you in life, so take it down a notch. Maybe the next relationship will not be so rough on you, and you won’t make the same mistakes. It can happen to anyone so keep your head high.
Use this time
Some people cannot live without being in a relationship. They don’t know what to do or how to act when they are single. Jumping from one relationship to another is like jumping to one sinking boat to another. You won’t find rest in the next relationship or the other.
What can you do at this time is to find yourself? Take some time from any relations and just meditate on who you are and what you want to achieve in life. Learn to do something, hit the gym, binge watch Breaking Bad, do something else to keep your mind off the break-up or being in a relationship.
Also, you can think about your ideal partner. Not everyone takes a minute to reflect on this bit. Not every partner is a perfect partner. In fact, you might be dating the wrong people. Time and space are needed to re-invent yourself, to meditate on other things. Don’t rush it, though. You might end up to square one.
Get your mind cleared and you can tackle a new relationship.
Toxic partner
Here’s the deal. Sometimes your partner’s attitude can be toxic to your relationship and even towards you. They can demotivate you even before a break-up. When the relationship is over, it’s recommended to step back and analyze the situation what went wrong.
Did I enjoy being with that person? Are all the relationships like these? Why did I felt terrible when I was with that person and why do I still feel awful after the break-up? If you are going to motivate yourself, you might as well start with your partner, with yourself and your relationship.
It’s best to keep such things in the past. But asking yourself these questions can make you think straight. Motivation starts only when you are faced with dark times, so analyze what went wrong and how you can improve a future relationship.
Stalking your ex
Oh, boy. This one is a real problem. Since the apparition of any social media platform, I can already tell that stalking has doubled or even tripled in numbers. Why? Because it is easy to access your ex’s information. You can find out with whom your ex is hanging, where your ex is going, what is your ex’s status, etc.
And while this can be an interesting adventure for the heartbroken, it won’t motivate you. It may end up getting you more depressed and miserable. So do yourself a favor and don’t stalk your ex. Do not stalk online or even in real life.
If you continue stalking your ex, even if you are searching for a new partner you might end up thinking too much about your ex. This will make you focus more on your ex than on the actual person that might be interested in you. Because of this, you will lose your chance of starting a new relationship, so stop it.
You will be considered weak, desperate and weird and it will diminish any chances of getting into a new relationship. Your ex won’t want you back after stalking him or her.
If you get back together, it will be only a matter of time until the next break-up so doesn’t bother, which brings up to our next topic.
Treat a break-up as phase
See, a break-up is like a bump; you will get over it. Now, some may think that a break-up is something temporarily and they will get back to their exes. Wrong! Treat it how it is and don’t try to motivate yourself with the idea that you will get back with your ex. It will poison your mind and reality will prove otherwise.
Try your hardest not to think about your ex and move forward. If you want to analyze your past relationship do it, but do it objectively and not with your feelings. Feelings can impair your judgment, and you will eventually text your ex at 3 am, drunk out of your mind. Be strong and move on.
Go back to your roots
Before you were dating, what were you doing? Were you going to the gym? Where are you taking photos or singing? Playing video games? No matter what you were doing, you should get back to it. This is an excellent way to motivate yourself.
Ask your friends for help
After a break-up, some doors will close, other will open. You might be interested in your friend’s friend, but you don’t know how to approach her/him. Ask your friend for help. Your friend can introduce you to what might be your future partner. If it doesn’t work out at least, it will boost your ego.
It’s all about trial an error, and it is a great exercise. It will keep you motivated and ready for dating.
Go to parties, get out more
Staying in the house, hoping that something will happen is silly. If you want to motivate yourself, beat anxiety and start dating again, you got to go to the battlefield and fight. You need to go out there and start meeting new people. Not all are dating material, but at least you will have fun and make new friends.
And maybe, just maybe, if you play your cards right, you might find the right one.
Use your social platform page
Facebook and Tinder are great apps to show that you are single and looking for that special one. Of course, not everyone on Tinder is looking for a serious relationship, but for a one night stand. Depending on what you want, you can use these apps to your advantage.
Just, try your best and not make a fool out of yourself with silly pictures or idiotic statements.
Flirting, a great sport
If your dating game is lacking, it’s time to practice. Flirting is a great way to diminish your anxiety, improve your social skills and also be motivated. Being smooth with the ladies or sweet with the guys can improve your chances of finding the right partner in no time.
Just don’t go out there and start flirting with everyone, you will probably make the news.
Friends with benefits
See, flirting is one method of regaining confidence, but doing more than having a friendly chat is can have better results. After a break-up, some people may find comfort in peace and quiet; others will prefer to find another partner slowly. Meantime, others can reap the benefits of having… certain friends.
Conclusion
There are other methods to motivate yourself and start dating again after a breakup. You can search the internet or ask your friends who date as if it’s their job. Good luck out there!