Break-ups come unexpectedly. When you think that everything is going perfectly and you’ll be happily ever after, they say it: ’’I think we should break up”. It breaks your heart and throws you into depression.
They could happen to anyone. Relationships are never perfect – they come with their fair share of arguments. Considering how bad the arguments are and why they occur, the relationship may deteriorate over time. Consequently, at least one party may want to separate, leaving the other heartbroken.
If you’re freshly single, you may think that all hope is lost and you’ll never be happy again. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You will find out that this experience made you stronger and will look back and be thankful for it.
For a better healing process, here are 10 things you shouldn’t do after a break-up.
Don’t beg and plead
When the one you love unexpectedly breaks up with you, your first reaction would be to beg and plead. You would tell them to get back together because you love them, and you could fix every problem in the relationship.
However, all you’re doing is placing everything in the relationship on your shoulders. While you probably have faults, the other problem is probably not innocent either. It takes two to tango. You can’t do everything by yourself, and getting back together like this is not going to help you at all.
Moreover, they are asking you for space. If you beg and plead, you don’t only seem desperate – they will distance themselves even more as well.
Don’t get drunk
Many people tend to start drinking after their heart has been broken. Whereas they want to drown their demons, this is not going to help too much.
What could happen is you texting your ex under the influence of alcohol, telling them how much you love them and miss them.
If you, however, want to drink, make sure you hand over your phone to your friends, so you don’t do anything that you’ll regret later.
Don’t stalk them
Social media has become very popular and has a lot of uses. One of them is stalking your ex.
You may be very tempted to check on them at all times. You want to know when they’re online, what are they doing, where are they going, if they miss you and so on.
Love can be like drug addiction. Basically, all you’re doing when stalking your ex is feeding your addiction. It’s not helping you, as you only hurt yourself more and keep yourself from moving on.
Therefore, ensure you don’t have any way of contacting them, even if it means having to block them.
Don’t pretend you’re ok
Wanting to appear strong is usual after a break-up. However, you shouldn’t pretend you’re ok when, in reality, you’re not. The grieving process is very important. Make sure you go through every feeling that tries you.
Ignoring the sadness and anger will only prevent you from moving on. Besides, if you suppress it now, it will erupt later, so better hurt now than make it worse.
Don’t start dating right away
Many people fall into the trap of rebound relationships. This is a big mistake.
After a relationship, you should only focus on yourself. You need to find your old self from before the relationship, and regain your self-esteem. Finding a rebound won’t allow you to do this.
Sometimes, you may be doing this not only to distract yourself, but to make your ex jealous as well. This way, you only let them control you.
Additionally, you may hurt the person you’re dating as well. Until the time comes, stay single and focus on yourself.
Don’t stop taking care of yourself
Post break-up depression may make you stop caring about your looks, meals or work. All you can think about is the person who left you, and how to get them back.
However, self-care is important. Not only it’s healthier, but you also get a confidence boost, something you may lack right now.
Don’t compare yourself to their new partner
If your ex gets a new partner, you may research this a lot. They probably look totally different compared to you, so you start a “Find the differences” game. It makes you ask yourself a lot of questions, like if they were ever attracted to you in the first place.
Don’t give it too much attention. If your ex found someone else, you could do it, too. And your new partner may be much better than them.
Don’t talk badly about them
You should avoid badmouthing your ex, especially if they did nothing horrible like cheat on you, for example. Whereas it’s normal to have negative emotions towards them, others don’t have to feel the same.
Moreover, talking badly about your ex only shows others that you are a bad person instead. They could also see what it’s like to break up with you.
Don’t change your looks
Immediately after a break-up, you may want to change your looks. While some small changes cause no harm, you should avoid any significant change. Changes like piercings, tattoos, head shaving or others shouldn’t even cross your mind. You will regret them when after you move on.
If you must change, do it for yourself, not to get the attention of someone who probably doesn’t even deserve you.
Don’t be friends
Have you heard about how saying “we can still be friends” after a break-up is like saying “the dog died but we can keep it”? You need time away from the source of your pain.
Also, staying friends not only gives you false hopes, but it keeps you from moving on as well.
Break-ups can be tough and make you never want to date again. However, by avoiding some things, it can get easier. You will be able to properly move on from your ex and find someone even better.